


it’s not you, it’s what you do to me

by killsometime



Category: Original Work
Genre: 16th Century Japan, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Samurai, Slow Burn, historical fiction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-19 11:15:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22110007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killsometime/pseuds/killsometime
Summary: Takanori wonders sometimes what it would be like to slice open Hiramasa’s chest and climb inside, press himself close to that fragile heart.After all, that’s what Hiramasa did to him first.
Relationships: Yamada Takanori/Miyake Hiramasa
Comments: 5
Kudos: 5





	it’s not you, it’s what you do to me

**Author's Note:**

> An important note. I’m not Japanese. I do my best to research in an attempt to be both accurate and respectful. But please, if you are Japanese and notice that any historical or cultural details are inappropriate, disrespectful, or wildly inaccurate please let me know. 
> 
> Title comes from the song ‘Seminary’ by Cold Showers.

_Kanazawa_

Takanori ambles through the marketplace. It's bustling -- people selling fresh fish, winter vegetables, crafts, cloth, and tatami mats. 

He'd snuck out of the house after finishing his morning lesson with a wooden sword, following the bellowed orders of one of his father's men. No one had noticed him leave, not with all the paperwork to do. 

The sun is bright today, the sky a perfect clear blue. It's warm for an almost-spring day and Takanori is only wearing a thin coat over his kimono -- the sun warming him enough to skip heavier winter clothes. 

He steals a peeled salted chestnut from a vendor while he isn't watching and ducks into a bookshop. He isn't allowed to read these sorts of books at home -- romances, and tragedies, and lewd books. His parents don't approve. He's only allowed to read history and strategy. Occasionally poetry if his tutor thinks it will help him. Despite this Takanori loves reading, which is why he finds himself sneaking out. 

He spends almost an hour flipping through the books. The shopkeeper doesn't care -- he's dozing off at the counter. 

Takanori is halfway through a story about a samurai and a Choson princess when he notices how high the sun has risen in the sky. He'll need to head home soon before he's missed. He nods at the shopkeeper and heads back out into the market. It's even busier now than it was earlier. He's stayed out too late.

He's about to steal another peeled chestnut on his way home when someone grabs him by the neck of his haori. He looks back to see Kanenori, one of his father's men, glaring at him. 

"Young master." Kanenori chides. "You musn't be running about."

"I'm not running." Takanori protests. "And I was on my way home." 

"If your father finds out-" Kanenori begins to say. 

"My father hasn't even noticed that I'm gone." Takanori interrupts. It's most likely true. His father has been wrapped up in finalizing the yearly report to the shogun on their rice yields. 

"Home. Now." Kanenori says, crossing his arms. He's wearing just one sword today but Takanori doesn't put it past him to chase after Takanori with it anyways. So he just nods meekly and turns to take the street back towards his family's house, feeling Kanenori's eyes on his back. 

It's the largest in Kanazawa -- hidden behind trees and large walls to keep anyone from seeing inside. His father and all his samurai serve the shogun, which is what Takanori is forced to train for. He's been learning to fight, and write, and lead since he was a child. He only has older sisters, which makes him the only heir to the Yamada family. 

The trees get thicker as he gets closer to home. His mother says that their house is out of the way to protect them from intruders but Takanori thinks that she just doesn't like being around the townspeople. 

He stops at the hallowed-out pine tree where he leaves his clothes when he sneaks out and changes out of his simple cotton kimono and into his proper formal clothes. If his mother or any of her servants see him dressed down, he's going to be punished. 

The house is busy -- all manners of servants and samurai preparing for the shogun's reports and for the lunch. 

He shuffles back quietly to his rooms, to his open studies. His tutor instructed him to copy out some poetry, but he'd left before he could begin working. 

Takanori has only just finished sitting down in front of his desk when he hears the distinct sound of screens sliding. 

He lifts up his brush and pretends to be mid-thought. 

"Takanori?" His mother calls out. 

"Yes?" He calls back. She comes into the room, imperious as always, scanning every corner as if searching for any possible imperfection.

"We'll be travelling to Edo soon." She says. "Your father has been summoned by the shogun." 

"And we're travelling with him?" Takanori asks. He's never been to Edo, only his older sisters have. His father spends every alternating year in the capital, but Takanori and his mother always remain in Kanazawa. It's what the shogun dictates. 

"We are. Your father wishes to show you Edo. Someday you'll be taking his place in the shogun's court. It will be good for you to see it." His mother says with a viperous smile. Sometimes Takanori thinks that his mother is the more dangerous of his parents. 

"Why did the shogun call on father?" Takanori asks. 

"He wants your father's help with something because he trusts him." His mother says, looking pleased. "This is very good for your father." 

Takanori doesn't know what to say. He doesn't understand all the scheming that goes on in his house. 

"I'll leave you to your work." His mother says before turning to leave. "And Takanori?" She says, just turning her head slightly to the side. "Stop sneaking out of the house. It's below you." 

Takanori feels himself flush with guilt and embarrassment. He truly thought he'd been smart about changing and not getting caught. 

The screen slides shut behind his mother and Takanori rests his head in his hands. 

\--  
 _Kyoto_

Nightfall brings with it another night at Shima's teahouse. Hiramasa is hidden behind a partially open sliding door where they keep extra tatami mats, spying on the people coming into the teahouse. He shouldn't be sneaking around and hiding like this. If Shima finds out, she'll be angry with him. But Hiramasa can't help himself. He loves seeing the teahouse at night, once the lanterns are alight and the ladies are dressed in the elegant susohiki, hair styled up in gleaming shimada. The teahouse is all he's known for the last three years. He barely remembers his life before it. 

He watches Inuko greet every customer with grace. Her job is to escort them to each tea room.Hiramasa thinks that Inuko is the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, except for his Aunt Shima who runs the teahouse. 

There has been a steady flow of people all night -- mostly their usual merchant customers spilling through the door for a glimpse of a beautiful woman. 

But then a man comes into the front entryway. He's stout and muscular, and there are two swords on his back, along with knives on his obi. A samurai. 

"No blades are allowed within the oiran." Inuko says warmly but firmly. The man pulls the sheathed swords off his back and places them on the small side table. He takes off the knives too. 

"I'm here to see Lady Shima." The man says gruffly. Inuko doesn't seem to react at all. Hiramasa's mouth falls open. What does this man want with his aunt?

"I'm afraid that won't be possible sir." She says carefully. "But I am happy to recommend you another teahouse.”

"I have been commanded to see Lady Shima." The man repeats, a little louder this time. Hiramasa begins to feel a little nervous. He seems like the type to make trouble.

”I will have to ask you to leave if you do not respect our rules.” Inuko says. “We do not accept strangers.”

”Soma Masakazu is here.” The man says. Inuko raises an eyebrow.

"Please wait here." Inuko says, and walks gracefully down a dark hallway. She comes back only moments later, and just after Hiramasa watches his aunt come into the room neatly and quietly. She's perfectly arranged like always. She bows to the man politely and straightens up, looking him right in the eye. 

"I am Lady Shima. May I ask what brings you here?" She asks. 

"My lord requests a room with you." The man says. 

"I'm very sorry but I shall have to recommend him to another girl." Shima says, eyes cast slightly downward to be respectful. The way she speaks is to appease him in the most flirtatious way possible. Hiramasa has seen his aunt teach countless girls how to speak properly. 

"My lord insists."

"I insist." Shima says. "He must look elsewhere." 

Except another man comes through the door -- this one taller than the first, and handsome. Flashes of silver are woven through his hair, but he doesn't appear to be particularly old, Hiramasa thinks. He doesn't have any weapons but he holds himself like he knows how to use them. He nods at the stout man, who picks up his weapons and leaves. 

Hiramasa is too busy staring at the man that he doesn't notice his aunt's posture has stiffened until he watches her force herself to relax. 

"Lady Shima." The man says. "Good evening.   
  
"Lady Shima no longer entertains patrons." Inuko says. "But we will be most pleased to find another lady to look after-"

"I can pay." The man interrupts her, and Hiramasa can only imagine the masked glare that Inuko must be sending him. "I can pay for Lady Shima." 

"I won't be bought." His aunt says with a cold voice. "But I'll sit with you for a moment." Hiramasa doesn't miss the confused look on Inuko's face. 

Shima nods to Inuko and begins to shuffle into the dark hallway, beckoning the men to follow. One of her hands is shaking. She's frightened, Hiramasa thinks. He's never seen his aunt frightened before. She's one of the strongest people he knows. 

Hiramasa has the strangest urge to leap in front of his aunt and protect her from this strange man. So he does. He slips out from behind the screen. 

"Who is this?" Hiramasa asks, forcing himself to sound bigger and braver than he really is. Shima's head whips around and stares at him. The man looks surprised.

"What are you doing here?" She asks. 

"Who is this man?" He repeats, aware of everyone's stare.

"Lady Shima, I will escort him out." Inuko says. Shima pauses for a moment. 

"It's alright." Shima replies quickly. "Hiramasa, this is Soma Masakazu." Shima says. Hiramasa bows his head. "This is Akabashi Hiramasa." She says and gestures towards Hiramasa. 

"A son?" The man called Masakazu asks. His face twists with unmistakable displeasure. Hiramasa doesn't understand why he looks so angry. 

"My nephew." Shima corrects. "I've been taking care of him since he was young." She doesn't say anything else about Hiramasa's parents. She never does. 

"Nephew. Your sister's son?" Masakazu asks and Hiramasa watches his aunt's face go pale. 

"Hiramasa, you should go home." His aunt says instead of answering him, schooling her features to appear calm. Masakazu looks confused. 

Hiramasa blinks at her. 

"I won't ask again." Shima says, and Hiramasa heeds. He bows politely and watches them leave. Inuko isn't standing by the front door. After a beat, Hiramasa takes a breath and impulsively slips down the hallway after his aunt. Shima leads the man into one of the back tearooms, one for the most private and valued guests. Hiramasa wonders again who this man is to his aunt. He hides himself behind a vase that sits in front of the sliding doors. 

"It's good to see you." He hears Masakazu say. It sounds almost warm. Almost. 

"What are you doing here?" Shima asks. She doesn't sound warm. 

"I was passing through." 

"You expect me to believe that?" 

"It's been four years." Masakazu says. "Perhaps I wanted to humour myself." 

"You didn't."

"But you've surprised me. Hiramasa was it?" Masakazu asks. 

"Yes." Shima answers. "I've been taking care of him." 

"What are you going to do with him?" Masakazu asks in a low voice. Hiramasa presses as close to the screen as he can without being close enough for them to see his shadow and know that he's listening. 

"Nothing. He'll continue to work here. He's smart. He helps the ladies out, and runs errands for me." Shima says. There's a long pause, long enough to make Hiramasa think that they've left the tea room. 

"I could... I could take him back to my home. Teach him how to fight. Take the burden off of you. An oiran is no place for a boy like that." Masakazu says gruffly. Hiramasa's heart pounds. 

"I can't ask that of you."

"It wouldn't be any issue." 

"I wish I could do more for him." 

"So let me." Masakazu says firmly but not unkindly. 

That's all Hiramasa allows himself to hear. He doesn't know how his aunt knows this strange man, but he doesn't like the sounds of their conversation. He likes living with his aunt, likes Kyoto. He doesn't want to leave. 

He walks past all the rooms, past the giggles and moans. He shouldn't even be here at this hour. Hiramasa leaves the teahouse and runs around the corner to the oiran house. His eyes well up at the sight of the lanterns lit up on the outside, all warm and welcoming. 

He slips into the house and finds his corner of the room that he shares with some of the younger girls and curls up in his blankets. 

\--

The next morning, Hiramasa is woken up by his aunt before the sun has even risen. 

"It's time to wake up Hiramasa." She says, looking nervous. "I need to tell you something."

He dresses and follows Shima into the kitchen. She pushes a bowl of rice and some meager vegetables towards him, with a steaming cup of tea. Hiramasa takes some nervous bites and waits for Shima to speak. 

"When your parents died, I took you in and took you here, even though this is no place to raise a child." Shima begins. Dread begins to wash over Hiramasa. 

"What's wrong?" He asks. 

"You're going to live with that man who came here last night -- Masakazu." Shima says. So he didn't dream up the conversation from the night before, he thinks. 

"Why?" Hiramasa asks. "I live with you."

"You do, but Masakazu is going to take care of you for me for a little while."

Hiramasa is silent for a moment. He doesn't really understand. 

"Aunt Shima." Hiramasa says. "Will I come back and visit you?" 

"Of course." She cries out, looking uncharacteristically affected. "Of course you will. You're going to go learn all sorts of things that I'd never be able to provide you with here."

"But I have everything I need here." Hiramasa protests. "I don't want to leave you."

"You're not leaving me. You'll come back." Shima says with a smile. "You'll come back and show me everything that you've learned in just a few moons." 

She hugs him tightly, and walks him out the front door of the oiran house to where Masakazu is waiting with three men, all of them dressed for travel, and horses. Hiramasa recognizes one of the men from the night before. 

"He's going to take good care of you." His aunt says. "You musn't worry." 

Hiramasa gives her a wobbly smile.   
  
Shima turns her attention to Masakazu. She walks so she's standing in front of him and slips something into the pocket of his outer haori. 

"Don't lose this." She says firmly.

"I won't." Masakazu says, looking down at her. She doesn't look at him. "Is he packed?" Masakazu asks. 

"This is all he has." Shima replies quietly, looking at Hiramasa with those sad eyes again. 

"I'll get him some things." Masakazu says gruffly. "Don't worry." 

"You've already-" 

"Please don't worry Shima." Masakazu interrupts, and Shima goes quiet. "I'm going to treat him as if he's mine." 

He easily mounts the horse, and Hiramasa gazes up at them in wonder. The horses eyes look enormous. 

"Are you ready?" Masakazu asks Hiramasa from what seems like bird height. 

"I've never ridden a horse before." Hiramasa says nervously. Shima laughs behind him. 

"I think he's going to do well." Masakazu says, sounding amused. 

Shima hugs Hiramasa one more time, and then one of the men with Masakazu lifts Hiramasa up onto the horse so that he's sat in front of Masakazu. 

Masakazu looks at Shima a last time, and then one of the men pulls at the rein of his horse, and they're off. 


End file.
